Afraid of Flying: A Response to Sarah Jakes’ Article

One of the bloggers I follow is Sarah Jakes, daughter of Bishop T.D. Jakes, who post very encouraging and insightful articles. Today she posted an article entitled “The Eagle In Me.” She gave a comparison of birds: birds that fly in flocks which makes flying easier and requires less effort and birds that fly high and against the wind.

As I read the article I saw myself; not as being any of the example of birds given but being one that was too afraid to fly.

I have been beat down, shut up, and abused throughout my life; by family, teachers, neighbors, and so-called friends. Although, I am not experiencing any abuse in my life now, I continue to live as though I am.

When I was a teenager my mother married a man who was abusive to me until I went off to college. I was locked up in my room my entire high school career. I was not allowed to eat so he would lock the food up. When I did eat I would wait until everyone was asleep and sneak food in my room. I was isolated from everyone. I had no friends. Now that I’m older, much older, I find myself feeling much like that little girl in the room; unloved, abandoned, and unwanted. Even as a Christian I struggle with these issues and the pain from my experiences keeps me from serving Christ the way I desire to. It prevents me from having the kind of relationship that I desire to have with Him and anyone else.

I wonder, will I ever be a Sarah Jakes: full of faith and courage and strength? Will ever be able to love God and others; love myself? Yes! I believe that I will but it will take going through this process of transformation; learning to open my heart to God and trust Him with my issues and my pain; learning to forgive and love others; learning to love and accept myself. No, I will never be a Sarah Jakes because there is only one and no one can be her better than her. I will, in time, be the me I am destined to be.



2 thoughts on “Afraid of Flying: A Response to Sarah Jakes’ Article

  1. I feel you sister. There are many things I struggle with daily and then wonder “Will I always struggle?” I believe the answer is yes, but the battle belongs to the LORD and if I am willing to let Him fight, I will have peace. Because of my experiences with rejection, abuse and rebellion, opening my heart to receive His grace, love and mercy has been one of the hardest things I have had to do. It still is. But He is love and I can trust Him. Immersing myself in the Word and His presence is absolutely essential. He has promised us that if draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. No rejection there! Isn’t He a great God?!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: